The best thing about the start of the year is having the time to research the year's wedding trends, order in new stock and develop new centrepiece designs. The not so best part is the aftermath of the latter, when you are the owner of The Worst Pet In The World.
Our cat is 11 this year but, despite this, his behaviour resembles that of a gremlin (the evil demented kind; not Gizmo). His nemesis? Bear grass and gel balls.
Unfortunately, on this particular quiet afternoon, I was experimenting with martini glass vase designs and my items of choice were, of course, bear grass and gel balls.
There is nothing so sinister as the feeling you're being watched and being watched I was. Slowly a pair of ears began to rise like the fin of Jaws on the other side of the table, followed by a pair of huge black eyes.
Ignoring him, I began to arrange the strands of bear grass before pouring in the gel balls. This was clearly just too much for our cat as he leapt upon to the table and an outstretched paw swiftly emptied the vase. The Result: turquoise gel balls everywhere.
Not quite satisfied, as I fumbled around trying to locate each ball, he then entered into a boxing match with the bear grass. On this occasion the bear grass won. It pinged into his eye after a particularly vicious attack so, skulking away in defeat, I was left in peace to start again.
I finally managed to complete my masterpiece and as I placed it on floor I turned to grab my phone and take a photo. Clearly that two seconds was an oversight on my part in terms of ‘centrepiece protection’ because, on hearing a bump, I turned and saw a sea of gel balls on the carpet and a very satisfied feline sat next to his handy work, staring at me. The WORST pet in the world.
Once again I'm left scrambling around collecting tiny balls. The furry one had his fun batting around a few of them. I found a couple later in the evening in the bathroom and some, I'm sure, are in locations only Ethan Hunt can access.
I did eventually get it redone with the photo I needed and the bride it is for is very happy. Next project - candelabras; I can only imagine the chaos that kissing balls and crystal garlands will bring.
Editors Note: No animals were hurt in the making of this blog.